Don't Blame Yourself
by MtnDew26
Summary: Finnick visits Annie after she comes back from the Games and confesses what has been haunting him while she suffered through the games.


Finnick and Annie One-Shot

I lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed. I lay as I have laid for god only knows how long. It could have been days, weeks, more. Time is and has been immeasurable, surrounded by the same powder blue walls. The routine is always the same. I lay here, healing, they tell me. Although I don't feel any different.

They come in the morning. They bathe me, untangle the knots from my ginger hair. Knots that I am unaware of until those moments when they began to be untangled. In fact, I'm still at a loss as to how I got them there. I don't move. Ever. It must happen while I sleep. Because while I sleep, I'm back in the games. After my bath, the doctor will come in. He'll ask me mundane questions. Questions about myself, my friends, my family. And the Games. Questions that I have told the answer to many times. I don't know what they're waiting for. Then, later in the afternoon, they'll let in a visitor. One a day. Usually someone from the Capitol. An excited fan, dying to meet the victor of the Games.

Yesterday it was a man and his daughter. The daughter had demanded to see the victor. And then she demanded that I speak. I can speak. I'm not stupid. I just don't feel the need to talk to a society of people so sick as to think that everything they have put me through, put Finnick through, put my ally through, was a "fascinating turn of events". Those are the exact words they used during my interview. It made me sick. It made me angry. It physically and mentally pained me to hear those words.

But I'm not crazy, as I'm sure they are calling me. It's their fallback after all. When a victor has abnormal behavior, it is only routine to label them with a mental disorder. But if I could hear what they say about me, I'm sure there would be nothing blamed on the games. Just an unfortunate turn of events. I had gone crazy due to something, anything else. Ridiculous propaganda, that's all they were.

Today the visitor is not a Capitol citizen.

"Annie!" Finnick barges through the door. I must be dreaming. I've had this dream before. So many times before. Those were my good dreams. I always wanted to have those dreams, as they were so much better than having to relive the games. Unfortunately, I had woken up many times believing that he was here, believing that he was taking me home, believing that he was embracing me, finally with me. And so often I'd woken up disappointed. I miss him so much, and I've I envisioned this so much that it must be a dream.

"Annie, Annie, what's wrong, are you hurt?"

"F-Finnick?" Then I realize it can't be a dream. He _is _here. He _is _real. And it's not like I wasn't expecting it, although at this point, all hope had escaped me. It is only that I couldn't imagine something this good still happening to me. But this is not out of the ordinary for Finnick. In fact, he's never done a single bad thing to me. Except perhaps wait a month to come visit me. But that can't be his fault.

My suspicions are confirmed. "Annie, I'm so, so sorry it took so long, they wouldn't let me visit, other people had more money, they said I might not ever see you. They said victors wouldn't ever have that kind of money. But I'm here, I'm here now. Please, I'm so sorry…" So it was the Capitol's fault. And I'm sure the Capitol had told him that I was crazy. I had to be normal again if I wanted him to still love me, as I thought he once had. I had to be normal, I had to be the girl he knew before. But I couldn't entirely. Because I wasn't that girl. I was completely new. I was a changed person. That girl was gone. But surely Finnick knew that. He had changed too when he came back. He was silent at first too. But then again, he had tried so hard to come back. So I had to do the same for him.

"Finnick!" I sat up and hugged him tightly. I never wanted to let him go. I could tell by his grip that he felt the same way. As he always had, he smelled of the sea. I'm suddenly worrying about how I smell. Or look for that matter. All I know is here, and he looks amazing, and he smells amazing, as if he had just gone swimming. He rarely goes a day without swimming. I don't know that for a fact anymore, but I like to think that very few things have changed since I left. Swimming was his main escape from the Games. If only I had something to do besides sit here and think of him while the world around me fed me lies about the state of my sanity. "I'm not crazy, did they tell you I was crazy?"

"I didn't believe a word of what they said. But are you okay? Why are you in here?" He pulled us apart and gripped my shoulders. His hands moved across my face as he searched for any sign of pain. They settled on my arms.

"I have nightmares I think. They keep having me t-tested. They say I'm crazy."

"Look… I can, I can try to get you out, okay?"

"How? You don't have any power, not like they do..." I am shaking my head, pushing the hope away.

"I'll find power, I'll figure something out. They still want things from me, they still need things from me, I mean…I am still… the famous Finnick Odair." He looked at me with his incredible sea-green eyes. They had tears forming in them. That was his title, "The Famous Finnick Odair" they would call him. The words still stung him, just as my words stung me. "God, Annie, I'm so sorry." He laid his forehead to mine. "It was my fault, all my fault."

"What was your fault?"

"You being in the games! It was all my fault!"

"Finnick, no! No, of course it wasn't your fault. It was theirs! The Capitol's. It's always their fault. It always has been. When you were reaped, it was their fault, what they did to you was their fault, and when I was reaped, it was their fault, too."

"No. No, no, no, no, no..." Finnick shook his head in shame. "You don't understand, it wasn't possible."

"Fin, c'mon. It was just bad luck." I tried to reassure him as I had many times before, as he had always done with me.

"No! It wasn't! I don't know how you don't see it! And you will see it, too. They'll do the same thing with you as they did with me. It could even be worse. Because… because you're just so beautiful, I can't imagine why they wouldn't."

"Finnick…y-you're not making any sense." My eyebrows furrowed at his words.

"If I had just cooperated! They said that it was fine if I backed out! They said it was just fine. But it wasn't. I tried to stop it, stop them, so I could be with you. _With you_. All I wanted was to be with you, ever since I met you. I hope you know that. And I think you did, too. And they knew that. So they took you. And now they're going to tell everybody that you're not good anymore. Nobody will ever look at you the same, and it's all because of me!"

"What are you talking about, Finnick?"

"All those women? I didn't want them. Never, not once. All they did was hurt you. Hurt us. They would buy a night with the famous victor, Finnick Odair!" He flailed his hands dramatically in the air as tears made their way down his face. "I never wanted them. It was always you."

He wanted me. I knew he wanted me. He had said it before. Twice today, once when he visited me before the games, and he hinted at it once before his games. "So… you wanted me?"

He simply nodded.

"Did you ever love me?" I say nervously, as I fidget with the sheets of the bed.

"Still do. I-" His lips were still moving when I kissed him, and he responded almost immediately. It wasn't my first kiss, but I had never felt passion like I did in this moment. In fact, I'm sure I had never known the true meaning of the word passion until that moment. His hands moved from my arms to my face, and I stood from the bed to get closer to him.

"You don't how long I've wanted to do that," I whisper.

Finnick was never one for words, but he had his own way of communicating. The second kiss we shared was gentle and loving. Seconds, maybe minutes, pass while we kiss. The time is once again immeasurable, but this time in the best way possible. For the first time in months, I am happy. There are no games, no tributes, no Capitol, and just the love of my life.

When we part he says, "I will never stop blaming myself for what you've been through."

"Then I will never stop forgiving you for what isn't your fault." I say, and then we're kissing again.

_**Kay so this was just a one-shot that I came up with after watching a video on youtube about finnick and annie, and I really liked the story they presented sooo…this story happened. Please review, Im really curious about whether this was any good or not since it basically has a mind of its own, as I don't exactly remember making a conscious decision to write this XD and also…reviews make me happy :D**_


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